Title: Miller’s Girl
MPA Rating: R
Director: Jade Halley Bartlett
Starring: Martin Freeman, Jenna Ortega, Gideon Adlon
Runtime: 1 hr 33 mins

What It Is: Cairo Sweet (Ortega) is a lonely young woman who lives in her families giant house all by herself. Her teacher the former author Jonathan Miller (Freeman) is impressed by her high intellect. So begins the infatuation on Cairo’s part. She’s determined that she will pursue the former novelist. She’s helped along with this by her friend Winnie (Adlon) who can’t help but cause a little trouble. But did she bites off more than she could chew and did she overestimate her teachers feelings about her.

What We Think: This movies narrative is atrociously delivered. Characters intent does not feel natural. At no point do I sit here and think to myself that any of what’s happened makes any semblance of sense. Jenna Ortega does nothing of note here except appear extremely bored. I think we’re still in a Wednesday hangover with her. Martin Freeman for his part is really REALLY trying to make this crapfest work and it just doesn’t. Bartlett directs from her own script and it’s clear this is her first time doing either. Quite frankly this film left a no good, very bad taste in my mouth.

Our Grade: D+, Save for a few scenes of beautiful cinematography there’s really nothing here. A film devoid of narrative cohesion. This is something coming off as poorly written and even more poorly executed. That’s a disappointment, clearly. I had high hopes for this and the pseudo Southern-Gothic vibe (thanks Tennessee) is lost in the sea of nonsense. This is a skip and it made absolutely no money. I really wanted to love this and gave it a fair shake. It just…never delivered on anything that we as an audience deserved.