Title: The Boys in the Boat
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Director: George Clooney
Starring: Joel Edgerton, Callum Turner, Peter Guinness
Runtime: 2 hr 4 mins

What It Is: Based on a true story in which a group of nine men on the University of Washington’s rowing team strike out to win the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin, under the tough guidance of their mentor Coach Al Ulbrickson (Edgerton). The young men, all coming from backgrounds and families having been affected by the Great Depression, have to find it within themselves to pull together their strengths and strategies to make the personal feat.

What We Think: I’m happy. I’m happy everyone got the paycheck. I’m happy Clooney has another title under his director’s chair. Lord knows I’m the biggest fan of his since Monuments Men.

Not really, I’m kidding–and to be honest, at the moment I’m not hugely familiar with most of his directorial works, assuming Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Good Night, and Good Luck, and The Ides of March are his biggest hits I still have yet to see. Can’t say they’re at the top of my priority list, but I can certainly see his influence through 90s and 2000s culture and Hollywood-dom that have carried into this film, unfortunately, recognizable and made drab from the beat-for-beat storytelling. It’s not entirely surprising, but somewhat disappointing. Again, this is my issue with a LOT of generously budgeted Hollywood films harping on real-life stories–they assume that if it’s not a documentary, more people are likely to watch it. If I were to contrast and compare, Peter Jackson is one fabulous director who could have easily taken the stories from WWI and created a potentially great film but instead chose to create his first documentary, the powerful They Shall Not Grow Old, in which he curates beautifully restored footages and stories straight from the mouths of soldiers in a respectful showcase that was heavily regarded and received rave reviews. While the case of an Olympic rowing team may not be as much of a widespread appeal to audiences, I think it’s still the job of a filmmaker to take their source material and frame it with as many real human details as is possible, as that’s what understanding historical events is for. Here, again, is a massively missed opportunity for Clooney to show his interest with far more cadence and scope. I don’t feel any more inspired or invigorated by the story or by its history, other than now I have an idea of how the Depression affected this group of youth as they grew into a passion that precurses the Great Wars. There’s not only so much information that I feel like I’m missing from the characters, but also their world and history overall. At least to the benefit of its narrative, why not add what the Depression was really like for these gentlemen, including for the protagonist, who seemed to be the main focus of the film only because he had the most to overcome, yet as the audience, I didn’t feel the stakes for him. I understood those stakes on the most surface level because the film told me to, like a little kid. But I don’t feel. The film doesn’t move me.

I’m a broken record with these things, but unfortunately, many people’s stories are bound to be eaten, chewed up, and shat out by the Hollywood machine. While some succeed in their storytelling and cinematic elements, they are still retellings made to profit the film industry. I vote for documentaries all the way, I’ve seen far more docs about so many different topics that maintain so much more integrity and groundedness that films like these never, or don’t even care to, achieve.

Our Grade: D-; Another bad, non-offensive, saccharine, boring Amazon movie for the holidays, The Boys in the Boat is remarkable for its lack of creativity and sheeny presentation marred by blinded, rich Hollywood-ites. Am I cynical? I don’t think so. Again, I think this could have been a far more interesting movie as a doc, or even if it had taken some more risks and committed to the bigger history happening around this subject matter as a narrative. But no, what we’ve received is a flat project that left me rolling my eyes after every half-sentimental scene that feels like it was copy-pasted from every other ’90s Oscarbait biopic. The actors…acted… and certainly seemed to get a hard workout in as hardcore rowers, but I couldn’t find anything of real redemption for myself in taking the time to watch this film. Watch it or don’t, it’s fine. But it feels like the filmmakers and writers behind this flick didn’t care or didn’t have enough time to make this project anything other than another ‘happy ending, inspiring sports drama for the holidays.’