Title: Uncharted
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Starring: Tom Holland, Mark Wahlberg, Sophia Ali
Runtime: 1 hr 56 mins

What It Is: Nathan Drake (Holland) is a thief. And when he’s approached by Victor “Sully” Sullivan (Wahlberg) about a job it’s the exact job he’s been thinking about since he was a little kid. You see Nathan’s brother used to be a treasure hunter. In fact, he and Sully were once partners. Meanwhile, Chloe (Ali) has one half of a necessary idea in order for them to find one of the world’s most immense treasures. That is if they ever stop stabbing each other in the back.

What We Think: Goddammit. Just when you think video game movies MIGHT be making some sort of comeback, nope. What’s worse is that it was SONY THEMSELVES that did it to us. They had an opportunity to rectify the genre. Sony had it in the palm of their hands. They let it slip. Tom Holland as Nathan Drake was a decision. Wahlberg as Sully was a choice. I disliked that choice very much. I am not, by any means, a fan of Mark Wahlberg. In fact, I tend to find him a detriment to whatever project he’s doing. God this is no different. Our homie Sophia Ali is dragged into this mess and she’s out here trying folks. I hope it leads to more success in her future because she’s a gem. Tom Holland. Buddy. You gotta stop taking any project that comes along. Outside of the web-swinging work he’s made some really terrible decisions. Whether that’s Cherry, Chaos Walking, or the AWFUL Dolittle what are you doing man? Ruben Fleischer was not the move in the director’s chair for this one. He’s not doing anything behind the lens to keep the film visually interesting. This is seriously the best we could do with the rich world of the Uncharted video games? The disappointment here is real and big.

Our Grade: D+, If we’re going to take games to screen just go ahead and don’t. Even in the longer form of television, it isn’t working (see HALO). Stop doing these and thinking that the money grab is worth the time and the dollars spent. Because quite frankly there are plenty of stories we can tell (though you wouldn’t know that with all the sequels and reboots). Let’s try to make those. Video games should be quarantined for any director that can’t even get something as stupid as Venom right.