Title: Titane
MPAA Rating: R
Director: Julia Ducournau
Starring: Agathe Rouselle, Vincent Lindon, Garance Marillier
Runtime: 1 hr 41 mins

What It Is: Alexia (Rouselle) is a go-go dancer she also has a penchant for murder and mechaphilia. When she is on the run following a murder spree we aren’t sure what will happen. At the same time, a firefighter captain Vincent (Lindon) has found his lost son after 10 years missing. When Alexia’s body begins to experience some changes there’s a real threat to her life and health…outside of the authorities, who would really like to discuss her extra-curricular activities.

What We Think: This wasn’t for me. I found Alexia despicable and just could not get around that for the second and third acts. I want to navigate talking about this film without giving away the twist…which is stupid as hell anyway. I loved Julia Ducournau’s last film Raw it was a refreshing look at horror and what it is to grow up female. I am not a woman. I’m a cismale person. Yet that film put me in its characters’ shoes. This tries that but fails to draw me. It’s all just too…random. The sympathy angle doesn’t work for Alexia or Vincent. Alexia is played well by Rouselle but it’s all for naught because situationally she’s put in a spot where I didn’t like her. Characters are introduced and eliminated for no real end game. So what was the point?

Our Grade: F, A pointless, fruitless, and ultimately useless feature. It wastes an unstated performance by Agathe Rouselle. A performance let down by a nonsensical script. It plays like a sexy murder and violence thriller. Some sort of revenge flick. Then it just…isn’t it’s just a woman who fucks a car. Cannes. WTF dude? There’s a definite disconnect between me and the critical reception of this by most. I found this a slog to get through. I cannot recommend this. Certainly not to the layperson who’ll find the pretentious “high art” off-putting. The cinematic equivalent of “you just didn’t get it”. Miss me with that. This is a pretentious arthouse misfire by a director capable of so much better. Titane: A metal highly resistant to heat and corrosion, with high tensile strength alloys, or a film that misses a point it never had. Skip it. Bop it. Pull it. Do anything but watch it.