Title: Ode to Passion
MPAA Rating: Not Yet Rated
Director: Jack Danini
Starring: Giuseppe Bausilio, Julia Nightingale, Victoria Meade
Runtime: 2 hr 8 mins

What It Is: Michael (Bausilio) laments over his seemingly broken relationship and reminisces over what had happened to him and his passionate love. It was love at first sight, when he first spotted Sarah (Nightingale) and quickly attempted in wooing her. What follows is their developing relationship as old flames, deviant friends, and dark pasts get in the way.

What We Think: I’m going to do my best not to be mean, but I am probably going to fail miserably, but at least I tried.

Firstly I would like mention that the story is so bland and unoriginal I came to write my opinion before explaining the plot, gave it to our editor, and completely forgot to write for the plot because of how consequentially simple it is. Second, I come to state that this story sort of has been given an unfair disadvantage right off the bat. Its delivery would have left it fated no matter how good the music, acting, or plot is. There are few things more grating in a movie than having to hear the smallest of exchanges of dialogue to incredibly serious situations all acid-washed by a particular and damning factor that makes it all so hard to watch: literally everything is said in verse. Everything is spoken in rhyme. RHYME.

Note to the editor (and the one who gave this screener to me): why would you do this to me?

EDITORS NOTE: Luck of the draw…for you. 

So, essentially, the writers took a note from Shakespeare (of all people) and decided to take a film script and make the whole thing one big poem. Which is certainly a creative concept, not one I’ve seen before. Turns out that was for good reason. Even the most minute or inconsequential of actions and dialogue were all tainted by this strange rule that everything had to be in verse. On top of that, it’s also a fucking musical.

I desire a good musical like anything else, but the music in this work also falls off the rails despite it making more sense as a musical rather than a play spoken in verse. This could very well serve as a parody of all new-age romantic musicals ever. Often do they “rhyme” the same words with each other, going for predictable if not terribly repetitive tracks that start to blend into each other, from one bad Christian-pop-inspired-power-ballad to the next. I was frying in my seat, to say the least. If they aren’t showing this in the waiting room to Hell…I had to sit down and listen to two whole hours of nonstop bad writing. You can’t get away from it. If it’s not the dialogue, it’s the goddamn music. I can only remember one track, which is the main theme, and the only reason I can remember part of it is that they also kept repeating it throughout the entire movie. It’s like you’re forced to remember it, so I guess that’s sort of success right there. I can’t get one bad song out of my head; one out of many in a tapestry of bad writing.

That being said, this is basically a watered-down version of The Last Five Years: it’s a simple romance with cut-and-dry characters and contrived obstacles. I honestly don’t know if there was a larger meaning intended behind this, I suspect largely that this movie might be making a point about anti-Christian behavior, that falling in love with a “damaged,” “unclean” person is a doomed love, kind of flavor. It felt juvenile like a theater student wanted to get into directing but doesn’t quite know how to deviate from the former as well as they need to. The romantic antics were exactly the opposite of what they should be; many of the elements oversimplify the already simple “fairy tale, a love-at-first-site love story” while also somewhat demonizing people with bad habits or emotional issues (in basic, implying that they’re unlovable).

Our Grade: F, This viewing experience was both very intense and not at all. I was pulling at my hair often throughout this film. Every time someone said something stupid (again, in verse) or started singing my head started throbbing. I think a few blood vessels were popped in the making of this review itself. But other than its obvious misfirings do you find what is probably the most inoffensive movie of all time. Some people desire that simplicity (as you can find in the comment section of the trailer) and that’s fine. At least there’s an audience for this movie and everyone who worked on it can get paid. I’ll be happy to say that I won’t be in any digital screening rooms anytime soon excited to see this again.