Title: Dead Dicks
MPAA Rating: Not Yet Rated
Director: Chris Bavota, Lee Paula Springer
Starring: Heston Horwin, Jillian Harris, Matt Keyes
Runtime: 1 hr 23 mins

What It Is: Becca is considering going cross-country to go to medical school. One day while at work, she gets a call from her troubled brother Richie, only to find him hung in his apartment… only it’s not him, at least, not now. Riche reveals himself alive, determined to show Becca the mystery of a vaginal-shaped cloning entity in his bedroom that births a new version of someone in the apartment every time they die. Confused by the situation, they try to figure out what it is and what it means when Richie’s annoyed neighbor gets involved, resulting in some monstrous consequences.

What We Think: That plot is something. Hell, if you have anything along the lines of “giant creepy wall vagina” in a movie, I am most definitely watching. On a more sour note, for all the mystery and weirdness that is built up, it’s left without any real conclusion. Due to that I feel like this would have made a much better short film, one of those shorts you’d see on channels like Short of the Week or Alter. Much of the elements in this film indicate amateur filmmaking–flat cinematography (especially for what is supposed to be a sci-fi / horror flick), some of the acting isn’t all on par, some of the costuming choices are very noticeably out of place, some cheesy stock sound effects, writing similar to a bad sitcom that gets redundant or makes less than sense for the characters, and characters that are difficult to root for or relate to despite the darker themes of struggling with mental health and suicide. The plot leads to literally nothing, making me feel like I missed out on a big reveal. We have yet another movie featuring a cock block of a resolution. In the end, I felt like I learned absolutely nothing about our mysterious wall vagina or the characters. To give it props, the creature design and some of the editing and score turned out to be really cool.

Our Grade: D+, If you’re just passing by and feel like watching an Alter-short-esque movie, maybe this is for you. Maybe you’ll enjoy it more than I did, there’s always a chance. Simply put, had the story elements and writing been miles sharper it certainly could have been more impactful for me, or at least more entertaining.