Title: Drunk Parents
MPAA Rating: R
Director: Fred Wolf
Starring: Alec Baldwin, Salma Hayek, Jim Gaffigan
Runtime: 1 hr 37 mins

What It Is: Frank (Baldwin) and Nancy (Hayek) Teagarten have just dropped off their loving daughter Rachel (Michelle Veintimilla) to college. What Rachel doesn’t know is that her parents are going through some stuff. Frank bet it all on an investment that didn’t pan out. Now they must deal with the judgmental rich that they call “friends” as well as trying to save face and maintain the lifestyle…and home they’ve become accustomed to. This will prove more difficult then they assume.

What We Think: This is without a doubt one of 2019’s worst films. I speak on this from the perspective of how much I wanted to turn this damned thing on at various times throughout its relatively short runtime. Alec Baldwin is anything but charming and Selma Hayek (who I love) is just wasted. Every joke misses its mark. Literally all of them. Jim Gaffigan, who I’ve seen in two MUCH better films in 2019, has no reason to be in this. Maybe see EITHER of those instead. Really, there’s no saving moment for this. As much as I tried to find one. TRUST ME I TRIED. Why anyone in good faith would bother with this I have no idea.

Our Grade: F, Dammit I tried to avoid this. I really did. I didn’t want to give this a fail. I had to. Upon thinking about it there’s just nothing about this to like. None of the characters, none of the story beats are anything good and the script is actual toilet tissue. Do I recommend it? Yeah…have you read ANYTHING I’ve just written? Of course, I don’t! It isn’t even “so good it’s bad” it’s just bad. Skip this for yourself and for me.