Title: Bird Box
Rating: R
Director: Susanne Bier
Starring: Sandra Bullock, John Malkovich, Trevante Rhodes
Runtime: 2 hr 4 mins
What It Is: Malorie (Bullock) is iffy on the idea of having kids: problem is, she’s pregnant. After getting an ultrasound with her sister (Sarah Paulson) tagging along, things go awry when people begin acting erratically and flee mysterious entities. When her sister gets them into a car accident and stands on front of a moving truck and kills herself, Malorie scrambles to find shelter (and does) in the chaos of suddenly suicidal victims. She finds refuge in a house full of strangers, both welcoming and unwelcoming, as she prepares to soon give birth in a world they will have to survive in together.

What We Think: Wow… not. What’s with all the hype around this movie? Honestly. It was exactly as I expected: not fantastic. In the very least, it served at times as entertaining despite its predictability, cheesy story arcs, and dry characters. The visuals were fine; competent. The acting overall is fine (Sarah Paulson again goes above and beyond despite her lack of screentime). It is no technical masterpiece to write home about. It seems that quite a few viewers have taken the film personally, whether it be due to the respectable analogy for the dangerous lives for many immigrants, the memes, or the fact that it’s the equivalent to easy listening. The problem is enjoyability and the attempt at some oxymoronically palatable shock value can only go so far in a movie that merely combines other films and media that are average at best and laughable at worst.

Our Grade: C-, It’s not terrible: its what I expected. Personally, I could reap nothing from this film. I was not surprised, but very mildly entertained for a little over two hours in between taking care of sick family members. I don’t care to look back into it, I don’t care to watch it again: Bird Box will be something that will blow over in a matter of days and will be a story soon forgotten.