Title: Slender Man
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Director: Sylvain White
Starring: Joey King, Annalise Baso, Julia Goldani Telles
Running Time: 1 hr 31 mins

What It Is: Four high school best friends Wren (King), Piper (Baso), Hallie (Goldani Telles), and Chloe (Jaz Sinclair), face the turmoils of adolescence in their small Massachusetts town. One night at a fateful sleepover the girls learn of the internet phenomenon known as Slender Man, a faceless, a suit-and-tie-wearing supernatural creature infamous for kidnapping children, and try summoning him.  The small town soon becomes afflicted with the discernible creature as the four girls experience the horrors of Slender Man and the cyber plague created in his name.

What We Think: Almost a decade after Slender Man was created, this tall mysterious creature continues to ignite fear, so much so that it’s existence alone on the internet inspired its own movie. But does this internet sensation, now having died down to a mere meme, deserve a feature length? The film might as well have been made in 2013 and would have severely induced some frightening nightmares when the allure of Slender Man was still flowing through the Internet. As it held no substance that would infer superior visual effects or a thorough reflection of a decent storyline, this movie really has no place in 2018, especially after the recent case of the two girls responsible for the attempted murder of their friend. In 2014 two teenage girls were found guilty of luring their classmate into the woods and proceeded to stab her 19 times in hopes of proving their loyalty to Slender Man. To profit off of such a travesty is quite insensitive, and shows the lack of creativity behind this film, where so many different narratives could have existed. 

Our Grade: F, This film would greatly appeal to a younger audience but to those who have experienced the internet for much longer and its numerous terrorizing tales, Slender Man does not cut it for us. The mark was severely missed with this film, and the opportunity to create a truly raw movie with this decades-old internet lore was not seized. All tea all shade my wig was firmly in place throughout this entire viewing process. Simply put, I would rather try to summon him in real life than have to watch this film again.  If you are attracted to tall men in business suits and have an insatiable desire for tentacles (approx. 4-8), then you might enjoy this movie.