Title: xXx: The Return of Xander Cage
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Director: D.J. Caruso
Starring: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone
Runtime: 1 hr 47 mins

What It Is: When a very important piece of equipment is stolen from CIA agent Jane Marke (Toni Collette) she enlists the help of legendary xXx agent Xander Cage (Diesel). When the group of rebels that steal the item is discovered to be xXx agents themselves the group, led by Xiang (Yen) seem to have a different understanding of what to do this item Xiang believes the power should be harnessed and used while fellow crew member Serena (Padukone) believes that no persons should have the power this item holds.

What We Think: What in the blue hell is this film? First of all, this is some of the most elementary dialogue you’ve ever heard. Vin Diesel seems to be having a good time, which makes sense because he is certainly not doing any acting. Nonetheless, this is the third highest grossing film in the worldwide besides Fifty Shades Darker and Logan whose reviews are on their way. This is a particularly bad film. The CGI is awful the story atrocious and most of the action outside of Donnie Yen being Donnie Yen is pedestrian. It shouldn’t be when you have Ip Man (Yen) and Ong-Bak (Tony Jaa) in the same film.

Our Grade: D-, Not a total failure but pretty darn close. It fails at almost everything that it tries to do. It is only because of its cavalier attitude towards seriousness that helps this. Since it knows it is dumb that helps out with not trying to look into this film with anything more than a surface interest. It is that which keeps the film in the right frame of mind and allows for the brain to turn off and do whatever it wants.