Title: A Million Ways to Die in the West

MPAA Rating: R

Starring: Seth MacFarlane, Liam Neeson, Charlize Theron

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Runtime: 1 hr 56 mins

What It Is: In the old west just about anything can kill you! From the angry guy at the bar to your own bowel system there are quite literally a million ways you could die out there, and for someone like Albert (MacFarlane) that’s a frightening thought. You see Albert is pretty much a coward. And it’s that yellow streak that make his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) leave him for the dapper Foy (Neil Patrick Harris), a mustachioed gentleman with a bit of a swagger. As if that weren’t enough now the mysterious stranger Anna (Theron) has strolled into town, and begins helping Albert get over his cowardice’s. Here’s the things about Anna her husband is the roughest toughest bad guy in the west Clinch Leatherwood (Neeson). And he doesn’t take too kindly to people who take from him.

What We Think: Ugh. A lot of the jokes here are flat and unfortunately miss their mark. Too often there’s a cheap laugh at the expense of the narrative. This is something MacFarlane has utilized on his TV show Family Guy. It isn’t something that I particularly enjoy, and a huge reason I cannot sit through an episode of that show. I understand a lot of people like that sort of thing but for me it just takes me out of the narrative. Most of the moment that involve the titular ways to die are sort of funny but there other trope is far too much reliance on toilet humor. One scene for example seems to go out of it’s way just to make a flat pointless joke. After having sat through Ted and being very satisfied with it I had a little hope for the film. Sadly that is squandered on a one trick pony, and that won’t work here in the wild wild west.

Our Grade: F, It’s an unfunny experiment on how to not make a film. MacFarlane try as he might cannot carry a film with his “acting”, Neeson is pretty much wasted on a 2D stereotype of a black hat. Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman have some funny lines together and an excellent song called “If You’ve Only Got a Moustache” that’ll have you wishing you had some wax for your handlebar. Too bad for this film that’s really the only good wish you’ll have, and the other major wish will be for your 11 dollars back!