Title: Slapped! The Movie
Director: Alex Magaña
Starring: Alex Magaña, Matt Lowe, Rodney Mason
What It Is: After bickering back and forth about how much better each others’ lives are, best friends Alex and Matt must walk a mile in one another’s shoes.
What We Think: Nope. Nope. Nope. First off, this movie has no business being two hours long. Not only was the content drawn out and boring, but the film didn’t stay on track. It’s Freaky Friday (2003) but made for Adult Swim and I think even Adult Swim would have a hard time swallowing (no overused blowjob joke in this film intended) this film. The term “dry humor” doesn’t do the clichéd masturbation, incest, pedophilia, fat, weed, and gay jokes any justice. The jokes were one thing. The visuals, particularly the POV toilet bowl vomit scene is what solidified for me that I cannot unsee or unhear any of this. It’s as if the point was to pack in as many politically incorrect ideas and phrases as possible and then smother those in incessant d*ck jokes. Don’t get me wrong, I think d*ck jokes are hysterical but you can only refer to your own junk as small and unusable so many times before the audience stops feeling bad for you and feels like maybe it’s what you deserve. The voodoo hobo bum was particularly unfunny and caricatures are about as unoriginal as you can get. But really, two hours!? The film should have gone jealousy; walk a mile in my shoes; realization; back to normal; appreciation; the end. Not jealousy; an hour and a half of “you better not have sex with my girlfriend or my mom”; back to normal; just kidding; the end. Honestly, after watching this I feel a little dumber.
Our Grade: D-, Because I’m not a complete monster, the technicality of the film was spot on. It hit the mark on lighting, framing, shots, and the like. Clearly, the director has some talent but they should be mindful of using their talents for good not evil. This movie was evil. My soul feels violated. This film gets a big fat thanks…but no thanks.