Review: Fifty Shades Darker

Title: Fifty Shades Darker
MPAA Rating: R
Director: James Foley
Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson
Runtime: 1 hr 58 mins

What It Is: The sequel to the 2015 smash hit Fifty Shades of Gray this is the second film in E.L. James’ series of books. Following the events of the first film, Anastasia Steele (Johnson) is now working at a publishing company. Christian (Dornan) is missing her, a feeling formerly foreign to him. As the two reunite a few new cogs get baked into their situation. While Christian wrestles his past Anastasia must do the exact same but both in completely different ways.

What We Think: I really did not think that the sequel could be worse than the original Fifty Shades of Gray I’m so sad to say I was wrong. My god, who writes these films? I feel as though a drunken marsupial stumbled into a bar and scribbled nonsense onto a napkin soaked in piss. This pissy napkin was handed to the studio and was also still better written than E.L. James’ bullcrap. Being that it was better written they used this napkin as the script and had their actors work from it. Having said that what do I think? I think this movie sucks!

Our Grade: F, Worse than the first we may see this film rear its ugly head once again come the years end. Dornan and Johnson continue to have no chemistry. Do these two even like each other as human people? It doesn’t seem so that is for sure. Unfortunately for audiences everywhere there is still another film in this trilogy of trash. Do not see this film. You know what on second thought do so if you want to laugh because this piece of garbage is hilarious. It is hilariously bad, horrendously serious and all the worse for it.